Monday, October 17, 2005

Beyond the beginning

The beginning of a relationship is always a beautiful experience. Meeting someone, hitting it off with that person, getting to know him/her, likes, dislikes, trying to meet everyday, expecting calls, waiting anxiously, making compromises, trying hard for the other’s approval, lots of white lies, philosophical ramblings, silent conversations, sweet nothings, a little bit of flirting, moments of intimacy. Well, the list is endless.

Rarely does this beginning last forever. Occasionally, it stretches for longer than usual. But mostly, it fades out for various reasons. We get to know each other too well. Things start becoming predictable. Some are comfortable with this predictability. These are the ones who take their relationships beyond the fade.
But for some, this predictability means monotony. They start feeling stifled in that relationship. The intimacy goes missing. Silences are no longer comfortably shared. Opinions become brutally frank. Eventually, an excuse is found to end it all. Mostly, the excuse turns out to be another person.
Some don’t understand the fade out. They do feel uneasy, but they don’t necessarily end the relationship. They still persist, repeatedly trying to discover that elusive magic of the beginning, often getting lost in nostalgic thoughts and wishing for a return to those golden days.

I’ve experienced the beginning a few times. Some were painfully short, some lasted longer. But all of them were good as long as they lasted. I’ve never ventured beyond the beginning though. Don’t know why.
I keep thinking – why not keep doing this? Why go beyond the beginning at all? Why lose the magic?
But deep down, I know I will go beyond the beginning one day. And I will do it just once.

3 comments:

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Anonymous said...

Best regards from NY! » »

Anonymous said...

That's a great story. Waiting for more. » »