Everybody needs solitude!

"Whosoever is delighted in solitude is either a wild beast or a god." - Aristotle

I cherish my solitude. I don't know if I'm a beast or a God, but it does help to take some time out for myself, to figure things out. But apparently, my solitude comes at price - I'm told that I'm aloof..that I don't reveal much of what's going on inside my head. When in college, a frustrated friend tried (a lot) to get into my head, by constantly asking me what I was thinking. She finally gave up! But if everybody were vocal and forthcoming with their thoughts, the world would be such a loud place to live in.

That's exactly what's happening now at ISB. Everybody has something to say. Some rarely think before voicing their thoughts. Sometimes it gets too loud, making it mandatory to tune out. That's exactly what I've been doing since yesterday evening. I put my books away, went for long walks, listened to a lot of music, finished reading "The Children of Hurin" (more on this later) and also managed to wash my clothes. Not surprisingly, I was quite relaxed before and during the exams today.

Wish people enjoyed their solitude as much as I do.

That's the question!

Should I? Or should I not? Wish I knew the answer to this question.

Phunny country! (part2)

After literally endorsing Ms.Prathiba's name for presidency, Mr.Kalam does a volte-face and decides to contest for a second term, but on the condition of "certainty" (not to be confused with consensus among opposition parties) that he will win. The NDA and the UNPA meet up and try to arrive at a "certainty" but fall woefully short of it. Mr.Kalam realises his blunder and voluntarily withdraws from the race.
Mr.Kalam was probably tempted to try for a second term, going by the overwhelming public response in favor of it. But he should've known better than to trust our politicians to back him.

Would you give up.....??

The other day, a friend asked me what would make me stop smoking. My answer - love! At some point in time, every smoker faces a situation where he has to choose between smoking and something else. For me, that something is love. I spent quite sometime explaining the reasoning behind my answer. She argued that there were already enough people in the world, who genuinely cared for me. Going by my logic, I should've already quit. But genuine care isn't the same as love, is it?





I don't think she was entirely convinced because she was willing to bet INR10000 on her prediction that I would still be smoking 10 years from now. So much for my persuasive skills!

I miss driving in the rains

It's been raining for the past two days here. I was reminded of my numerous long drives during the monsoon season in Kerala, over the past 2 years. I wish I hadn't sold Mr. Dirty Black. Wonder how he's coping without me!

Phunny country!

1) A Tamil daily owned by Mr.Kalanidhimaran (of Sun TV fame) conducts a survey and reports that, of Mr.Karunanidhi's two sons, Mr.Stalin has a much greater chance of succeeding him as the CM of TN, than Mr.Azhagiri. Mr.Azhagiri's supporters within the party are incensed after reading this and resort to burning the newspaper's office in Madurai. 3 people are burnt alive. Mr.Karunanidhi is also incensed, but not about the death of innocent people. He expresses the usual anguish and condolences, but doesn't reprimand his truant son. He takes out his anger on his protege and Kalanidhi's brother -Dayanidhimaran, central minister for IT and Telecom. He is kicked out of the cabinet and suspended from the party. What I found really amusing (and apalling) was Mr.Karunanidhi's reaction to the violence in Madurai - "I asked them not publish the survey results." Wonder when TN will be rid of these Dravidian parties.

2) Ms.Prathiba's name is announced as UPA's choice for next occupant of Rashtrapathi Bhavan. President Mr.Kalam says Ms.Prathiba is an excellent choice for President. The third candidate, Mr.Shekhawat, thinks Mr.Kalam ought to be given a second term. The political parties supporting these candidates are left scratching their heads!

Snapshots

* Snaps Courtesy - KK, Swaroop, Pranav and others.

A penny for my thoughts!

It’s only been a fortnight since the shift to ISB happened and I’ve already experienced a lot!
I went without sleep for 48 hours straight and then slept through a Financial accounting class. I’m still trying to decipher the notes that I took during that class; I got drunk and went for a walk around the campus at 3am; I got drunk (another occasion!) and repeatedly traded insults with another drunk; I even got to slap a drunken friend repeatedly, in an effort to get him to his senses. He didn’t recall it the next day! Too much booze on campus.
Barely 2 weeks into the course, I’ve decided to quit smoking “for the time being”. More than the health concerns, it was the thought of spending so much on cigarettes that prompted this decision.
Interestingly, most people on campus have become a part of a group, where they feel most comfortable. And quite a few feel irritated to no end when they are forced to leave this group and put up with members of their study group (put together by ISB). Some feel intellectually superior while interacting with their study group mates; others feel like beating up them up. Shanthi!!
I’m no exception and I’ve found a quite a few interesting “characters”, whose company I seem to enjoy. Fortunately for me, my study group is also quite chilled out. Cool!
As usual, there are the loners, who prefer their solitude and will have nothing to do with groups as long as it isn’t necessary. Then, there are those few unfortunate folks who, in spite of their best efforts at socializing, never quite manage to break the ice. It probably doesn't matter much to them but I feel sorry every time I see them.
And I’ve seen quite a few going out of their way, just to be seen in the company of certain others. They end up trying to be exactly the opposite of what they are. Irritating!

Finally, there's been so much buzz about consulting as a career, that I couldn't resist taking a dig at it. So here goes -

"A consultant died and, as luck would have it, went to heaven. There were millions of people ahead of him in line to see St. Peter. To the consultant's surprise, St. Peter rose from the heaps of files and papers at his desk by the Gates, strolled briskly down the long line to where the consultant stood, and greeted him warmly. He walked the consultant to the front of the line and ushered him into a comfortable chair by his desk. St. Peter sat on the other side and stared at the consultant wonderingly.After a moment, the consultant said, "I have to say I appreciate all this attention, but what makes me so special?"St. Peter replied, "I'm simply amazed by your apparent good health. I've added up all the hours for which you billed your clients, and by my calculations you're 214 years old!"

Some snaps with my new mobile!

Maha Rudra Homam

First day of (dis)orientation week at ISB

Welcome dinner

The crazy rush for free advise

Team building exercises (yeah...right!)

Too many late-night parties can do this to people

Student Village (hostel sounds so banal!)

Movies, movies and more movies!

During the couple of months before shifting to Hyderabad, I became so lazy that I drove only about a 1000 km. That’s something, taking into account the fact that I drove 50000 km over the past 22 months. I’ve noticed that the more time I have to kill, the less I get accomplished. I did watch quite a few movies – the best form of escapism!

Match Point – This Woody Allen movie left a lasting impression. It's a gripping tale of a tennis coach, who hits it off with a wealthy female student and marries her. Just when he's beginning to enjoy the trappings of high society, he gets romantically involved with his bro-in-law's girlfriend. The affair threatens to ruin his new life he has now come to enjoy, and leaves him with some hard choices to make. The movie is all about how a single incident can change a person’s fortune – for good or bad. The master director is at his manipulative best - well, towards the end, I found myself rooting for the bad guy.

Good night and good luck – It’s a b/w movie, which depicts a TV journalist’s crusade against McCarthyism. The highlight of the movie is the usage of actual historical footage of McCarthy. Some critics, who were unaware of this complained that the “actor” playing McCarthy had gone overboard with his histrionics.

Memoirs of a geisha – I loved this movie for its cinematography. The story was very interesting but the movie was not powerful enough. The novel probably is. I’m yet to read it though.

Snatch – A movie set in London, about a bunch of thugs, a boxer, a dog and a diamond. Hilarious!

Cars – A really good animated movie after quite sometime. One thing which really struck me about the animation was that the cars’ windshields (instead of the usual headlights) were replaced with eyes. This made all the vehicles quite endearing. Ka-chow!!

Happy feet – I still cannot figure out if I actually liked the movie or if I was won over by the experience of watching it on big screen, in a really good cinema hall.

Veyil – Not the usual Tamil movie. The screenplay could’ve been tighter but otherwise it was good, especially the parts which resembled “Cinema Paradiso”. I loved the song “Veyilodu Vilayaadi”. The lyrics were spot on!

Pan’s Labyrinth – I picked it up because somebody told me it was a fantasy. I was in the mood for something like LOTR, but it turned out to be something else altogether. The movie is a fairytale meant strictly for adults. It’s about a little girl who tries to escape the war torn world she lives in, to a kingdom where she would be princess. Her wish is granted finally, but in a tragic sort of way.

Amores peros – I watched this because I heard this is the movie that inspired Mani to make Aaytha Ezhuthu (Yuva). I personally consider Aaytha Ezhuthu to be one of his better movies. There was nothing similar between the two, except for the fact that three parallel tracks are connected together by one common scene. The Mexican movie is way darker and more powerful than the Tamil one.

What would you do?

Rectal cancer is quite common in India. It is a notorious killer. The exact causes are unknown, but the disease appears to be caused by both inherited and lifestyle factors. Both men and women above 50 are at equal risk of developing rectal cancer.
Patients with rectal cancer can resume normal life, if the cancer is surgically removed and the intestine is reconstructed. But this is possible only if the cancer is detected in its early stages, when it is still operable. Unfortunately in India, more often than not, patients turn up when it's already too late. In such cases, it doesn't mean death; it means something worse. In patients with inoperable cancers, a major part of the large intestine is removed along with the rectum and the anus. This means the patient will no longer have control over passing his stools. His intestine is attached to an external Colostomy bag all the time, (as shown in the pic) which collects the faecal matter. This bag has to be changed everyday. The other option in such cases, is death, which is usually slow and painful. Needless to say, living with a bag of faecal matter on your abdomen can be mentally stressful and traumatic. Even your loved ones will start avoiding you altogether. I know this because I've seen it happen in my family. And it's also proven statistically.

So - if somebody you knew were faced with such options, what would your advise be? What would you do?

I told ya!

http://in.rediff.com/money/2006/oct/16career.htm

Too lazy

I'm just using work as an excuse to avoid completing my next post..enjoy these Calvinisms till then.

I like maxims that don't encourage behavior modification.

Reality continues to ruin my life.

Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless.

A little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of wills and add drama to an otherwise dull day.

It's psychosomatic. You need a lobotomy. I'll get a saw.

I understand my tests are popular reading in the teachers' lounge.

Life's disappointments are harder to take when you don't know any swear words.

Where do we keep all our chainsaws, Mom?

That's the difference between me and the rest of the world! Happiness isn't good enough for me! I demand euphoria!

In my opinion, we don't devote nearly enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks.

You know, Hobbes, some days even my lucky rocketship underpants don't help.

Its no use! Everybody gets good enemies except me.

What's the point of wearing your favorite rocketship underpants if nobody ever asks to see 'em?

As a math atheist, I should be excused from this.

This one's tricky. You have to use imaginary numbers, like eleventeen ...

I'm learning real skills that I can apply throughout the rest of my life ... Procrastinating and rationalizing.

I have a hammer! I can put things together! I can knock things apart! I can alter my environment at will and make an incredible din all the while! Ah, it's great to be male!

I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information

C: "Do you believe in the devil? You know, a supreme evil being dedicated to the temptation, corruption, and destruction of man?"
H: "I'm not sure that man needs the help."

A dream (contd.)

It had started raining. The constant splash of rainwater on the windscreen was something he loved to watch. He loved driving during rains. He suddenly had this temptation to start the car and drive away - from everybody; all questions; all problems; all bugging issues. He wanted to drive till he was too tired to think. In the past, he had always resorted to these drives when the going had got tough. He had felt it helped him clear his mind. Now he realized that he had only been running away - escapism. This time he had been halted forcibly. He realized that he had some questions to answer, some decisions to make.

He forced his thoughts back to the question he was supposed to answer. Was he really afraid that he might never find a soul mate? Was he really delaying something that was not supposed to be delayed? Was this the issue that had been bugging him? He realized that he had remained silent for quite sometime now.

Him (to the Girl): Yes. You are right. I am afraid.
K: Why?
Him: I don’t know.
M: So this is what has been bugging you?
Him: I’ve just been running away from taking some decisions. That’s what has been bugging me.
S: What decisions?
Him: I believe that a man has but one destiny – the one he makes for himself. I’m comfortable in life now. No big responsibilities, no commitments. Life is smooth. But I’m pretty sure this is not what I’m supposed to do for the rest of my life. Problem is - I’ve not done anything to find out. This carefree life is getting monotonous. I’ve got to move ahead. I have to decide where and how.
S: So what’s your decision going to be?
Him(chuckles): Dear, If it were so simple, I would have made it long time back.
K(irritated): You don’t understand. You have to decide now. There isn’t much time. We are losing you.
Him(stunned): WHAT?
S (smiling, to K): Well..somebody had to break the news to him. (To Him) You have to decide now. You won’t get a chance later.
M: Now you know what I meant, when I said, “You might get a chance.”

He became silent again. But this time, it was due to shock. Was this the end? He didn’t like it one bit. Slowly, he recovered from the shock. Hell no! This was not the end. The end would be on his terms, to his liking.

Him: I think I know what I need to do. And I’m going to do it.
M: And what will that be?
Him: I don’t think I will reveal that now.
S: Fair enough. (To the others) I think our work here is done.
Him: But how come YOU folks turned up? Why not my parents or my brother?
K: Well, you were the one who chose us.

With that S, K and M vanished. He found himself alone with the girl. He kept staring into her eyes. He usually felt uneasy making eye contact with strangers. Not with this girl.

Him: I don’t even know you. How could I have chosen you? And yeah - Aren’t you supposed to vanish too?
Girl(smiling): I’m still here – which means my work isn’t done yet. You know me. Rather, you will know me. We would have met if you had already said yes to marriage. I don’t know what your decision is, but now I’m pretty sure we’ll meet.
Him: And when is that? I think you know that.

She nodded but didn’t answer, just a smile.

Him: Ok. At least tell me your name.
Girl (with a mischievous grin): Can’t do that. Can you remember my face?

He was alone now. Suddenly, he felt severe pain in his neck and lower back. It had been an accident after all; a pretty bad one too. He realized that the steering wheel was inches away from his chest. He then noticed that the car had been rear-ended pretty badly. He felt dizzy again. Things began to blur. But now, he felt a sense of peace and calm. He knew he was going to be fine. He blacked out.

A dream (?)

9am. He was already on his way. He was driving fast, but the drive had not been pleasant. He was finding it hard to concentrate. This was unusual. His concentration was usually at its peak when he was driving fast. Something was bugging him. He tried to figure out hat it was. Various incidents from the recent past came to his mind – the business-plan presentation that hadn’t gone too well a few days back; the conversation he had had with his parents about the marriage proposal; the dirty politics at his workplace; the call he had received from his best friend K, who had come to India on a flying visit; and a few more incidents. But he wasn’t convinced. He could not figure out what was distracting him. That frustrated him even more. He tried driving faster, hoping it would clear his mind. It didn’t help.

It was a two-lane road. The traffic was light. A few hundred feet ahead, he saw a cowherd on the right side of the road. They looked like they were about to cross the road. He judged that he could pass safely and decided not to slow down. But then he noticed a black santro coming from the opposite direction. It was coming pretty fast towards the cows. He anticipated that the santro would either have to brake really hard to avoid smashing into the cowherd, or it would have to swerve sharply onto his lane. It did not brake. It swerved. He slammed hard on the brakes. Simultaneously, the santro violently swerved back onto its lane. It safely made the pass, but just so. He was just catching his breath, when he noticed that something red was rapidly filling up his rear view mirror. It was a bus and it showed no signs of slowing down. He rapidly tried to engage gears and move forward but it was too late. He didn't even have time to brace himself. He felt a rude jolt. He felt thankful for his seat-belt. He blacked out.

He was still in his car when he came about. Surprisingly, he did not feel any pain. He slowly turned around to assess the damage to the car. No visible damage to the car either. But he found three women sitting on the backseat. At first, their faces seemed bit blurred to him, but gradually his vision cleared. He recognized K and M. The third female - he had not seen before. Then he noticed S sitting beside him, in the front. He kept staring at them, too surprised to speak.

S broke the silence.

S - So, did you finally figure out what was bugging you?
K – Well, we wouldn’t be here if he had.
Him – Nope. I didn’t figure it out.
S (smirking) – Probably it was the 33 grand you spent on a TAG.
Him – Dei, it was a TAG! Grow up. Your reaction did baffle me though. And what was that speech about “people suffering without food” all of a sudden? You sounded real corny.
M – Was it our chat? Was that bothering you?
K – What chat?
Him (smiling) – (To K) sorry that’s confidential. (To M) that was weeks ago. Well, it did bother me the next day. I shouldn’t have chatted with you in the first place. I was half drunk and sleepy. I didn’t know what I was doing. But no, that wasn’t bugging me today.
K – I think I know. It was my call wasn’t it? I ended the conversation abruptly.
Him – You did? No, that wasn’t it. But I did feel that you didn’t like it when I mentioned the pact. (Smiles)
M – Ahem…now what pact are we talking about?
K - Confidential info.
S – Hey ladies, easy. Looks as if the poor guy is being interrogated here.
K (to S) – Hey, you started it.
Him – TIME OUT!! Why is this so important now? Why are you guys here? Why are you so interested in what’s bugging me?
K – That’s what this is all about, isn’t it?
M – Yeah, you need to find out. It might give you a chance.
Him – What chance?
S (irritated) – Never mind. Tell me something - did your parents discuss anything important with you when you were in chennai last week?
Him – How did you know I was in Chennai last week?
S – No time for explanations. Tell me.
Him (hesitantly) – Nothing important. There was this discussion about a marriage proposal though. But that discussion happens quite often nowadays. Nothing important about it.
S - Probably not to you. So what was this proposal all about?
Him - Seems my aunt had told my mom about an "interesting" allaince. Good family, nice girl, about to complete engineering. And it seems that the girl’s family was impressed with my “profile”.
K – So what did your mom say?
Him (smiling)– Well, she requested my aunt to inform them that they had to wait for sometime - till I decided on whether to continue working or try for an MBA.
M (puzzled) – Why did she say that?
Him (muttering)– Don’t know. She probably didn’t want to reject the proposal outright. (Chuckling) or she’s probably afraid that by the time I decide to get married, there won’t be any suitable girl around.
K – Well, are you?
Him - Am i what?
K - Are you also afraid that there might be nobody around for you?

It was only then, that the girl spoke for the first time.

Girl – Yes, he is. Aren’t you?

He didn’t reply. He remained silent.


(To be continued)

Do you believe in miracles?

April 14 - Vishu..Also Good Friday. My colleague had invited me to his house for a vegetarian lunch, specially perpared for me. I was on the way, when i came across this strange sight.




I could not resist stopping my car and taking these snaps. I learnt that every year, Mr.Nixon here (in red), undertakes a journey similar to the one Mr.Jesus was forced to go on, before his crucification. Mr.Nixon walks more than 60km, bearing a cross that weighs close to 70kg, with a real crown of thorns adorning his head. He sets out from Cochin towards Malayatoor, a famous pilgrimage spot among local Christians. This shrine is situated on top of a hillock, which can only be reached after a pretty steep climb.
The reason? Few years back, Mr.Nixon was suffering from some supposedly incurable and debilitating brain disease. He made a deal with god and agreed to undertake this strenuous journey every year, in return for complete cure. Lo and behold! The man was cured! The doctors had no explanation for this sudden cure.
Ever since, Nixon's kept his part of the deal - year after year.

Two beautiful ladies

My colleagues' daughters - Manasa and Niranjana.

The high jumper

There are various techniques in high jumping. The toughest and the most primitive one is the scissors technique. Then there is the straddle or belly role, with the jumper’s chest facing the bar. Of course, professional jumpers all over the world today employ the Fosbury flop, where they clear the bar with their backs towards it. But this method is only safe when inflatable-landing areas are available.



Well...I used to be a proponent of the straddle technique. Yes - people refuse to believe me now, but back then I used to be an active participant in all track and field events. I won the high jumping contest two years in a row. I even made it to the finals of district level inter-school competition. Unfortunately, I never took it seriously.

Anyway, I think I was in the eighth grade when this happened. The next day, a district level high jumping competition was scheduled to happen. I had been avoiding practice all week. So I was forced to practice after school, with nobody but the PT master to give me company. The session wasn’t going too well. I was repeatedly failing to clear even regular heights. Until I saw her. She was sitting on the cement benches, under the tree near the school temple. She was a studious girl. She was the darling of almost all the teachers. She was beautiful. She was my first crush.

So here she was, probably waiting for somebody to come and pick her up. She wasn't usually this late. She was reading something. Could have been a textbook. I could not make out if she was observing me practice. But I assumed she was. Immediately, as if on cue, my performance started improving. The PT repeatedly kept raising the bar and I kept clearing it within 3 attempts.

After sometime, the master wanted to call it a day. But my audience was still very much present – all alone. Nobody had arrived to pick her up yet. So I asked the PT to proceed and decided to continue practicing all by myself.

A school senior had recently set a school high jumping record of 1.43m. I think the world record still stands at 2.43m, set by Javier Sotomayer in 1989. I decided to have a go at the school record. I failed in my first two attempts. Then, I started working up the crowd around me, as I had often watched those guys at Olympics do before their jumps. Only, in my case, the crowd was imaginary. I approached the bar with the perfect run-up, took the perfect leap and cleared it. I landed in the sand with a thud. I could hear my imaginary audience applauding me. I got to my feet and looked towards the cement benches, half expecting her to be on her feet and wildly applauding my record-breaking attempt. She wasn’t there. To say that I was disappointed would be a big understatement.

The next day, I easily qualified for the district level inter-school finals. I think I came fourth in the finals. My PT thought it was a creditable achievement, especially for someone who had practiced only a couple of hours the previous day.

Anyway, I never got to find out if she saw my record-breaking jump. I never had the courage to ask her about that evening. I never told her that I had a crush on her. And yeah..i think I never got over that crush. As the song goes – first love(crush?) never dies. :-)

Racing at midnight

January 22, 1215am
Place – Trivandrum

I am screaming at the hotel receptionist, “It is impossible for me to sleep with all this construction work going on at this hour. I did not pay 1500 bucks to stay awake all night.”
Now, folks in hospitality business are supposed to be hospitable. They usually don’t lose their cool and try really hard to keep their guests happy. Unfortunately for me, this guy is different. All he says is, “Sir, the banging will last one hour more.” This is the last straw. I decide that I would rather drive back to Cochin than put up with this ruckus.
After settling the bill (and giving the hotel management a piece of my mind) I hit the road. It is half an hour past midnight. I feel as if I have just proved a point. But as usual, the voice at the back of my head says, " You will regret this dumbo." i start driving, hoping to prove it wrong.

As I start, a scene from “The Blues Brothers” comes to my mind.

Elwood: It's a 106 miles to Chicago. We got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark and we're wearing sunglasses.
Jake: Hit it!




Encouraging, but not exactly the same scenario. I’m alone. I’m feeling sleepy cos I’ve just been rudely woken out of a deep slumber. And I’m pissed off.
The first 60kms till Kollam pass off smoothly. Suddenly I find myself dozing off and I snap back just in time to avoid smashing head-on with a truck. I am seriously thinking of stopping and spending the night in the car, when another Alto zooms past me as if I am stationary, when I’m actually doing close to a 100 clicks.
As usual, I feel hurt. I usually respect more powerful cars and avoid taking them on when they pass me. But I get slightly irritated when the M800s, Altos, Santros and Indicas do it to me. Tonight, i'm furious. I start pursuing the Alto. I’m fully awake now. My velocity climbs steadily as I close the gap. I touch 140km by the time I’m within striking distance. He sees me – doesn’t want me to have it easy. The machines are the equally matched. It boils down to the men and both of us refuse to be bogged down, with each repeatedly passing the other. The game continues till Alleppey when coincidentally, both of us decide to stop at the same place for a break. I realise that the past 80 km have been covered in 65 minutes.
I get out to order a “chaayaa” and light up a Kings. He does the same. I see that he’s also traveling alone. We make eye contact. We size up each other. Finally, he acknowledges my driving with a nod of his head towards my car. I return the compliment. No words are spoken.
After the break, both return to our cars. I wish for the game to continue as Cochin is still 50km away. But I realize that the pulsating game has just ended in a draw. It would be an insult to continue afer knowing the result.
It is 330am when I reach home and hit the sack.
I feel good..On the road, nothing is more satisfying than racing a stranger who is willing to take the challenge.

a favorite snap