Vethal Kuzhambu

So..Where are you from?

2010-12-24T01:04:00.003+05:30

"So...where are you from?".

Now, this is one question that has always caught me off guard. I usually respond with " I'm from Tamilnadu" and I look forward to a change in the topic. But obviously, the questions don't end there. I am asked to zero in on a particular place - "Where in Tamilnadu?". This puts me in a spot. What the person wants to know is - "What is your hometown?"

I've seen my mother respond to this question with "We are all from Kadayanallur/Krishnapuram". This is my dad's hometown. Further probing would reveal that she hails from Mana Madurai. I have spent a summer vacation or two in these villages - thoroughly enjoyed them. But I wouldn't go as far to call them my home town.

I was born in Coimbatore. But I spent a very small duration of my childhood there, most of which I recall only vaguely (I do remember that my elder brother had a lot of friends and I used to irritate him to no end by tagging along everywhere). I met my wife and we got married there. My daughter was born there. So Coimbatore does hold some fond memories. But hometown?

I did most of my schooling in Tirunelveli. I met some of my closest friends there for the first time. I have a strong connect with this town. After I went to college, I was rechristened after a delicacy that Tirunelveli is famous for all over the world. And this name stuck. Very few of my batch mates know my real name. Tirunelveli is where I spent most of my formative years. Unfortunately, nobody lives there anymore. What good is a hometown if you don't have a home or folks to go back to?

I landed my first job in Chennai. I became financially independent here. My parents live in Chennai. I have a house in Chennai (which I don't intend to live in). But I have never had any emotional connect with this city. It has always been sort of a transit place for me.

Ever since I started working, life has taken me to various places - Cochin, Hyderabad, Mumbai and now Kolkata. But I still go blank for a few seconds when I'm asked this question, before responding with "TamilNadu". If probed further, I start with Coimbatore, proceed south towards Tirunelveli and Kadayanallur, and finally end up at Chennai. By the time I'm done, the person is either completely confused or bored. And it works all the time!

Can't wait to see this one

2009-04-11T10:19:00.012+05:30

Now...a bilingual remake of "A Wednesday"...this should definitely be interesting!!

This time....Last year

2009-04-09T16:56:00.004+05:30

Have been seeing lots of Gtalk status messages on "One year since ISB". I can vividly recall what I was upto last year, this time around.

This time... Last year... I was at home in Chennai - totally immobilized with a lower back sprain. The sprain had been so severe that the I had needed my dad's assistance to get out of bed. I had just wound up things at ISB and had shifted all my stuff to Chennai. Unfortunately, all the packing and moving taken its toll on my back. This in turn, had delayed my departure to Southeast Asia on the much awaited backpacking trip. I had been forced to miss the first leg of the trip. Fortunately, I did manage to get back on my feet, convince my parents and go on to visit Cambodia, Thailand and Malaysia in the next three weeks.

I did miss orientation week at ISB, but this trip was totally worth it.

A message to Garcia

2009-03-28T00:59:00.001+05:30

Very relevant message in today's scenario.

Courtesy - Bheem's status message on GTalk

Sorry state of affairs

2009-03-11T23:29:00.007+05:30

Knowledge has this immense power to transform lives. I have come across so many incidents in my line of work that have reinforced my belief in this fact. Here’s an example.
My colleague VM recently travelled to his native village, near Varanasi. There he discovered that all was not well in his sister-in-law’s marital life. After a little probing, he found out the root cause – she wasn’t able to get pregnant. He got to know that she had had fibroids in her uterus. Apparently, she had travelled to Varanasi and had already undergone surgery once to remove the fibroids. This surgery had been performed abdominally, through a 6cm long incision. This had resulted in a long and painful recovery period. But after sometime, the problem of fibroids had resurfaced and the original problem of inability to conceive, remained unaddressed. So the couple had approached the same gynecologist again. This time around, the gynecologist had suggested a “brilliant” solution - total removal of the uterus – abdominal hysterectomy. Worse, he had also told the couple that this was the only solution, which was far from the truth. Needless to say, this worsened the situation in an already troubled marriage. Fortunately fate intervened in the form of VM who, due to his regular interactions with GYN surgeons in his line of work, was aware that the removal of the uterus was totally unnecessary. He confronted this gynecologist, who promptly retracted his statement. VM then brought his sister-in-law to Mumbai and got her surgery done laparoscopically. Also, the surgeon has assured the woman that she will be able to conceive through the process of in-vitro fertilization.

The alternative to abdominal/open surgery is to perform the surgery in a laparoscopic manner. This is referred to as keyhole surgery in layman language.
It is unfortunate, that a large segment of our country’s population is unaware about such options.
It is unfortunate for VM’s sister-in-law, that neither her gynecologist nor any other surgeon in Varanasi, was trained to perform laparoscopic surgery. Medical colleges don’t teach students how to perform laparoscopic surgery.
It is unfortunate that many doctors mislead their patients, to mask their inabilities and to make a quick buck.
It is fortunate that there are quite a few good doctors, who at least encourage their patients to try other options and guide them properly, before giving up.
It is unfortunate that unethical and unscrupulous doctors and surgeons outnumber the good ones by a large, significant margin.

Happy Women's day

2009-03-08T22:39:00.002+05:30

I would’ve never paid special attention to this day (never have in the past) had it not been for the following reasons –

1. It was splashed all over ToI. Kareena Kapoor’s face was on every page. I wasn’t amused to wake up and read about how Kareena believes Saif gives her enough space and what she does on Sundays.

2. There were way more lingerie ads than usual.

3. Hilary Rodham Clinton had made a statement that investing in women should help us out of the current recession.

4. Quite a few people called up to wish my wife

I guess it makes sense to devote a day to celebrate the presence of women in our lives, since we do take them for granted the rest of the time. But I guess every year it turns into a gimmick, and newspapers and TV channels have a field day “celebrating” it.

Being the male chauvinist that I am, I started wondering if there was an International Men’s day. To my surprise, I found there is one such day. Among other things, this day is an opportunity for men to recognize achievements, project role models and highlight discrimination against men!! One more interesting fact – International women’s day was first observed in 1909, a full 90 years before the first Men’s day, which was first observed on Nov 19, 1999. Now, I wasn’t around in Bombay during the last women’s day, but I sure was around on Nov 19^th. I definitely don’t remember seeing Saif’s (or any other man’s) face on every page of ToI, giving me intimate details about how Kareena gives him enough space. I don’t remember if there were more male underwear ads than usual. It would definitely be interesting to find out!

Delhi-6

2009-02-21T09:56:00.004+05:30

A story(?) revolving around the Kaala-bandar/Monkey man who terrorised the streets of Chandni Chowk, a NRI's cliched perspective of India, an oft-repeated message about Hindu-muslim unity...this is Delhi-6 for you.

The movie does have its moments. Using the kaala-bandar, the mirror concept and the Ram-Leela festival as metaphors to show that both good and evil reside within everybody, are smart moves. After the movie, I realised the purpose of the mirror on the audio CD cover only when Varsha mentioned it. Besides Abhishek Bachchan who does his usual "I'm too cool" act, all the other actors have done a very good job. Cinematography is great. ARR's BGM is good.

Negatives?? The editing is pretty bad..One actually feels like surfing channels on TV. The characters are all unidimensional characters straight out of the 1980's television show "Nukkad". This album is one of ARR's best work, but the director has done absolute and total injustice while filming the songs. Except for Masakkali, most of the other songs are shown in bits and pieces. And the climax - a big letdown. There is absolutely no build-up and quite predictably, the movie ends with a whimper.

Pretty disappointing fare, especially after Rang De Basanti.

I'm loving it

2009-02-20T12:20:00.012+05:30

"I can hear the soft breathing
Of the girl that I love,
As she lies here beside me
Asleep with the night,
And her hair, in a fine mist
Floats on my pillow,
Reflecting the glow
Of the winter moonlight."

These are the opening lines of "Wednesday Morning, 3am" by S&G. It kind of describes my favorite pastime activity nowadays - watching her sleep.
I love to hold her while she sleeps, careful not to wake her.....to watch her, while she dreams. Everyday, I wake up in the middle of the night, just to watch her sleep.

I'm loving every second of this journey.

Engaged....

2008-09-08T10:28:00.001+05:30

..... to Varsha, on Sep 1st 2008.

My opinion

2008-08-02T22:15:00.004+05:30

I was watching James Caan (of Santino Corleone fame) being interviewed on Hollywood shootout and I was quite surprised to learn about some of the roles he had turned down in his career.

1. Col. Kurtz in Apocalypse Now (eventually performed by Brando)
2. Hans Solo in Stars Wars (Harrison Ford)
3. Kramer in Kramer vs Kramer (Dustin Hoffman)

These were roles that eventually became milestones in the careers of these actors. The interviewer asked him about any regrets that Caan had on turning these down. Caan's classic response - "See....If I had had your opinion, I wouldn't have turned them down. But I had my own opinion on these roles, and they weren't good. They still aren't."

Now that's what I call attitude.

Great Indian Arranged Marriage!

2008-07-26T09:37:00.006+05:30

The concept of a typical South Indian arranged marriage has always intrigued me. When parents are busy looking for a life partners for their children, they are entirely dependent on 1 sheet of paper - the horoscope. Once horoscopes match and other criteria are met, the families meet..more importantly, boy meets girl. This meeting lasts anywhere between an hour and a day(this happens if the both families are pretty liberal and the boy and girl hit it off pretty well). Once this is done, the boy and the girl need to think things over and accept ot reject the proposal. The deadline for this is usually a day...2 days if you get lucky.

Needless to say, I had my reservations about this system. But I knew arranged marriage was the best option...given my dashing appearance and charming nature, finding a life partner on my own was pretty much ruled out. So I signed up for this, hoping I would eventually trick some girl into saying yes. But yeah...whoever said beggars can't be choosers, needs to study the concept of the Great Indian Arranged Marriage. I got to list down the specifications regarding the type of girl I wanted to meet. My requirements were simple - I wanted somebody with professional qualifications, and with interests in some extracurricular activity. And I requested to be kept out of the process till both families were ready to meet each other...after this the decision would be only mine.

And that's how I ended up meeting Varsha. I travelled to Coimbatore and we chatted for a couple of hours. I was looking for somebody who was more outgoing than me... somebody who would not take life too seriously... somebody more childlike in nature... somebody who was passionate about some thing in life... I realised that Varsha was all this and more. And I said yes. More importantly - she said yes!!

So, I did trick somebody into saying yes....and on my first attempt! Now my days of bachelorhood are numbered.

Southeast Asia

2008-07-26T08:05:00.007+05:30

Phew!! So many things have happened in my life since my last post. But I've been wanting to write about my SE Asia trip for quite sometime now. So I've decided to get that out of the way, before writing about more recent (and very important) developments in life.

I travelled to Malaysia, Cambodia and Thailand with a couple of friends - Pradyot and Swaroop. During the trip, Swaroop and I made a list of interesting observations about the people and places we had seen. Here are a few

KL is not for backpackers on a shoestring budget - I don't mean you can't find cheap places to eat or stay. What I mean is that you feel like a loser, looking at the opulence all around you. One look at the malls and you realise that this city is for shoppers with lots of money.

SE Asians don't sweat - During summer, Malaysia and Thailand are hot and humid like Chennai. Surprisingly, Southeast Asians just don't sweat. The SE Asian males have absolutely no facial or body hair. Not surprisingly, they are very particular about personal hygiene. Being the three hairy South Indians that we were, we had a tough time staying fresh. I've never used as much talcum powder and body spray in my life, as I did during those 3 weeks.

Forex scam in Cambodia - After landing in Siem Reap Cambodia, the three of us exchanged around 500 USD for local currency. We became "instant lakhpatis", since we got 3750 riel for a dollar. Feeling pretty happy, we ventured out into the city, only to discover that we had been taken for a ride. Cambodia is so starved for dollars that people prefer to deal in USD and not in local currency. All prices are mentioned in dollars..even the tuk-tuk drivers negotiate in dollars !! And to get rid of the local currency, we had to shell out 4000 riel per dollar..not 3750!

Gogo bars - The hotel we stayed in Pattaya was bang in the middle of a street full of gogo bars. For the uninitiated, these are the dance bars for which Thailand is pretty notorious. Every time somebody walks past these bars, he is subjected to cat calls (and what not)!! The worst part is being hit upon by lady boys (she-males). Needless to say, I felt pretty embarrassed initially. Once I started enjoying the "limelight", it was pretty funny. But more than everything else, what impacted me the most was the pathetic life these bar dancers lead. More on that later.

Pattaya - If you are a male, more than 50 years old, have a lot of money and want to splurge it on women and booze, Pattaya is the place for you. If not, don't even bother going there. There are lots of cheaper destinations with better beaches.

Kanchanaburi - This is one place I fell in love with. One can find pretty cheap accommodation...and you get floating rooms on River Kwai! There's nothing better than chilling on the river, with Leo or Chang beer. The Erawan national park is great for a day trek and the waterfalls there are straight out of one of those desktop wallpapers. And then there's the tiger temple, which is a must-see. Apparently, there's at least one tourist who's been seriously mauled by the tigers. I came to know about this only after my visit.

Great trip in all...but of course, the best part of the trip was when Swaroop's underwear got stolen by monkeys!! :)

Suprises galore!

2008-06-21T11:03:00.007+05:30

I joined work on May 16th. I was supposed to take charge as a product manager (marketing) and take over from a guy who was supposed to move to US in a month. I was supposed to handle a "market appropriate" product. Dangerous name, since it kinda insinuated that all the other products were market inappropriate. What it actually meant was that this product had been designed for markets like India, China and Russia.

Two weeks in to the job, I was still clueless as to what my predecessor had been doing for the past 8 months, besides travelling to remote places like Bagalpur and Imphal. Then I realized that he was selling the product, not marketing it. He had an entire sales force at his disposal, but they weren't too excited about this product. Bottomline - not enough incentive for the sales force to invest time on selling this product.

In two weeks, I had kinda formed a very vague idea of where I wanted to take this product in a year's time. That's when the bombshell was dropped on me (and my predecessor). His assignment to the US was indefinitely postponed. So he had to stay back and continue doing what he had been up to for past 8 months. As for me - I was asked to head the Mumbai metro sales team. I was pretty pissed. It's not everyday that a company changes your job profile drastically, 2 weeks into the job. But I thought about it for 3 full days before accepting the new role.
Upside - I won't be spending my life in airport waiting lounges; I will be handling a team of 8 managers; Opportunity for turning around Mumbai metro; Young, fresh team.
Downside - Mumbai metro is in a mess; Veterans in team have quit; no marketing role till 2009 end.

So I'm back in sales!! And this is pretty much what I'm going to write about my job, for a long time to come.

Next post - Experiences in SE Asia.

Back to the grind

2008-05-20T12:27:00.002+05:30

Successfully graduated from ISB on April 5th.
Went on a 3 week backpaacking trip to Malaysia, Cambodia and Thailand.
Returned to Chennai and spent a couple of weeks at home - doing absoultely nothing worthwhile.
Shifted base to mumbai on 10th May. Found a house in 3 days. (yup...3 days..no kidding!)
Joined work on 16th. Got my laptop, phone and my blackberry.
Have lots to write about.
Determined to write regularly.

He was happy

2008-03-21T15:17:00.003+05:30

He was happy.

His eyes were closed. He was leaning back in his chair. The room was dark. Pink Floyd was playing "High hopes". He had listened to this song several times before, but only now could he make out every note and chord that was being played....only now could he understand the meaning of the song. There were tears in his eyes.

He was happy.

He wanted to share this revelation with the three others in the room. But he was afraid they wouldn't be impressed if he disturbed the reverie. He opened his eyes to check. He was right....they wouldn't have been impressed. It had been more than an hour since the first song had started, but right now, there was no hurry to get anywhere. He leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes.

He was happy.

He thought it was unfair that he could actually understand and enjoy these songs only at this level of intensity. He envied the artists who had created these songs...and all the other artists who had become immortal through their creations. He imagined the kind of elation they must have felt while creating such works of art..the level of intensity at which they must have operated. He felt blessed to have been given a chance...a brief moment to experience that elation.

He was happy.

This fickle life

2007-11-03T21:16:00.000+05:30

My dad's sashtiabdhapoorthy function was a grand success. This function is like a renewal of wedding vows – a second wedding that happens when the husband turns 60. It's a function conducted by the children, for their parents. It is said that blessed are the few who get to witness their parents' marriage. The function was preceded by chanting of the vedas for 5 days.

But alas, our happiness was short lived. Sundu sastrigal, a good family friend and the purohit who was instrumental to the success of the "veda paaraayanam" and the sashtiabdhapoorthy function, passed away 2 days after the event. He suffered from a sudden brain haemmorhage and succumbed to it. He was the person who had conducted all functions in our family, including my brother's marriage.

It need not have been him...it need not have been at this young age...it need not have been this way.

What's your status?

2007-10-03T01:06:00.001+05:30

One of my favorite pastimes has been observing others' status messages on G-talk. On the eve of yet another exam, here are a few funny ones from my distinguished batch mates.

Invaat lagne waali hai (reference to the impending INVA - investments analysis exam)

Tired of being BSed (Bull-shit)

I've lost it!

Bored with studies; wanna go back to work.

Don't these professors have to stick to any honor code? (Honor code is a set of rules at ISB that govern student conduct)

Madness gaining topmost order

Better days are yet to come

Exams - a proscriptinve anathema be declared against this.

ACOMODADOR - there is always an event in our lives that is responsible for our failing to progress (Looks like this guy really lost it)

I need a parrot...quick!

Like lambs to the slaughter

In the bigger scheme of things, does it F****ng matter?

It doesn't F*****g matter!! (reply to previous status message)

We should remember our dying and try to live so that our death brings no pleasure to the world.

I'm watching LOTR (That's my status. I gave up studying, cos it doesn't F*****ng matter!)

Hehe

2007-08-10T11:53:00.000+05:30

Just finished a 2 hour exam in corporate finance. Only after getting out of the hall did I realise that I had been humming some song or the other, during the course of the two hours. Some of the songs were

1. My Sharona by The Ramones

2. Thimsukatta (from some Vijay movie)

3. Ballelakka (from Sivaji)

4. Annaatha aadraaru (Apoorva Sagotharargal)

5. Abhi na jao chod kar (WHAT WAS I THINKING???!!)

Now I realise - on my way to the cooler to get some water during the exam, I had matched my steps to the beat of the song in my head. No wonder the invigilator was amused. I must've looked funny!!

All this has a significant amount of correlation to the songs I was listening to on my Walkman phone, just before the exam. Looks like I need to change the playlist.

As for the exam - don't even ask!

The Children of Hurin - a review

2007-08-02T03:48:00.000+05:30

A tale started by J.R.R. Tolkien and completed by Christopher Tolkien. This book is darker than "The Lord of the Rings" and "The Hobbit". The story occurs about 6500 years before incidents in LoTR, when the Dark Lord Morgoth (aka Melkor) is at his peak. The brave Hurin (pronounced as Hoorin), a leader of men (Edain), joins the Elves (Eldar) in the war to overthrow Morgoth. Unfortunately, the alliance is brutally crushed by the dark forces and Hurin is captured. But even as a prisoner he refuses to acknowledge Morgoth's supremacy, thereby earning the Dark Lord's wrath, who curses Hurin's children - Turin and Nienor. The rest of the story mostly follows the tragic fate Turin and that of Nienor towards the end.

I liked the book a lot because, unlike in LoTR, a lot of the characters in the book, including the protagonist, are imperfect. This adds an element of reality to the proceedings. Better sense does not always prevail, which later leads to regret and grief. For instance, Turin briefly joins a bunch of outlaws who attack and rob men (besides orcs and elves) for a living. He slays his best friend Beleg. Mim the petty dwarf, despite taking a liking to Turin, betrays him to the forces of Angband. There are many more such instances, which bring out the sinister side of many characters.

Once again, Tolkien's fascination with dragons comes to the fore in this novel. Glaurung is one of Tolkien's most interesting villains, arguably even better than Smaug (from The Hobbit). Sample this line for instance, when Glaurung enchants Turin with his hypnotic gaze to prevent him from rescuing Finduilas, manipulating him to go in search of his mother instead.

'Nay! At least you are valiant. Beyond all whom I have met. And they lie who say that we of our part do not honour the valour of foes. See now! I offer you freedom.'

The book was so gloomy that I was left hoping for a tragic ending, as anything otherwise would've been total misfit. Even in LoTR, the part I liked the most was "The scouring of the Shire", where Frodo and team, inspite of having saved the Middle Earth, still have to fight a small battle to reclaim the Shire. Tolkien doesn't disappoint.

All in all, it was a story about a classic anti-hero, who, after making one disastrous decision too many, redeems himself at the end with tragic consequences. Finally, the message that children are sometimes forced to carry the burden of the curse laid on their parents, isn't lost on the reader.

Everybody needs solitude!

2007-07-16T18:11:00.000+05:30

"Whosoever is delighted in solitude is either a wild beast or a god." - Aristotle

I cherish my solitude. I don't know if I'm a beast or a God, but it does help to take some time out for myself, to figure things out. But apparently, my solitude comes at price - I'm told that I'm aloof..that I don't reveal much of what's going on inside my head. When in college, a frustrated friend tried (a lot) to get into my head, by constantly asking me what I was thinking. She finally gave up! But if everybody were vocal and forthcoming with their thoughts, the world would be such a loud place to live in.

That's exactly what's happening now at ISB. Everybody has something to say. Some rarely think before voicing their thoughts. Sometimes it gets too loud, making it mandatory to tune out. That's exactly what I've been doing since yesterday evening. I put my books away, went for long walks, listened to a lot of music, finished reading "The Children of Hurin" (more on this later) and also managed to wash my clothes. Not surprisingly, I was quite relaxed before and during the exams today.

Wish people enjoyed their solitude as much as I do.

That's the question!

2007-07-08T03:35:00.000+05:30

Should I? Or should I not? Wish I knew the answer to this question.

Phunny country! (part2)

2007-06-23T19:20:00.000+05:30

After literally endorsing Ms.Prathiba's name for presidency, Mr.Kalam does a volte-face and decides to contest for a second term, but on the condition of "certainty" (not to be confused with consensus among opposition parties) that he will win. The NDA and the UNPA meet up and try to arrive at a "certainty" but fall woefully short of it. Mr.Kalam realises his blunder and voluntarily withdraws from the race.
Mr.Kalam was probably tempted to try for a second term, going by the overwhelming public response in favor of it. But he should've known better than to trust our politicians to back him.

Would you give up.....??

2007-06-23T18:51:00.000+05:30

The other day, a friend asked me what would make me stop smoking. My answer - love! At some point in time, every smoker faces a situation where he has to choose between smoking and something else. For me, that something is love. I spent quite sometime explaining the reasoning behind my answer. She argued that there were already enough people in the world, who genuinely cared for me. Going by my logic, I should've already quit. But genuine care isn't the same as love, is it?

I don't think she was entirely convinced because she was willing to bet INR10000 on her prediction that I would still be smoking 10 years from now. So much for my persuasive skills!

I miss driving in the rains

2007-06-23T18:22:00.000+05:30

It's been raining for the past two days here. I was reminded of my numerous long drives during the monsoon season in Kerala, over the past 2 years. I wish I hadn't sold Mr. Dirty Black. Wonder how he's coping without me!

Phunny country!

2007-06-19T19:13:00.000+05:30

1) A Tamil daily owned by Mr.Kalanidhimaran (of Sun TV fame) conducts a survey and reports that, of Mr.Karunanidhi's two sons, Mr.Stalin has a much greater chance of succeeding him as the CM of TN, than Mr.Azhagiri. Mr.Azhagiri's supporters within the party are incensed after reading this and resort to burning the newspaper's office in Madurai. 3 people are burnt alive. Mr.Karunanidhi is also incensed, but not about the death of innocent people. He expresses the usual anguish and condolences, but doesn't reprimand his truant son. He takes out his anger on his protege and Kalanidhi's brother -Dayanidhimaran, central minister for IT and Telecom. He is kicked out of the cabinet and suspended from the party. What I found really amusing (and apalling) was Mr.Karunanidhi's reaction to the violence in Madurai - "I asked them not publish the survey results." Wonder when TN will be rid of these Dravidian parties.

2) Ms.Prathiba's name is announced as UPA's choice for next occupant of Rashtrapathi Bhavan. President Mr.Kalam says Ms.Prathiba is an excellent choice for President. The third candidate, Mr.Shekhawat, thinks Mr.Kalam ought to be given a second term. The political parties supporting these candidates are left scratching their heads!

Snapshots

2007-05-31T14:54:00.001+05:30

* Snaps Courtesy - KK, Swaroop, Pranav and others.

A penny for my thoughts!

2007-05-07T14:41:00.000+05:30

It’s only been a fortnight since the shift to ISB happened and I’ve already experienced a lot!
I went without sleep for 48 hours straight and then slept through a Financial accounting class. I’m still trying to decipher the notes that I took during that class; I got drunk and went for a walk around the campus at 3am; I got drunk (another occasion!) and repeatedly traded insults with another drunk; I even got to slap a drunken friend repeatedly, in an effort to get him to his senses. He didn’t recall it the next day! Too much booze on campus.
Barely 2 weeks into the course, I’ve decided to quit smoking “for the time being”. More than the health concerns, it was the thought of spending so much on cigarettes that prompted this decision.
Interestingly, most people on campus have become a part of a group, where they feel most comfortable. And quite a few feel irritated to no end when they are forced to leave this group and put up with members of their study group (put together by ISB). Some feel intellectually superior while interacting with their study group mates; others feel like beating up them up. Shanthi!!
I’m no exception and I’ve found a quite a few interesting “characters”, whose company I seem to enjoy. Fortunately for me, my study group is also quite chilled out. Cool!
As usual, there are the loners, who prefer their solitude and will have nothing to do with groups as long as it isn’t necessary. Then, there are those few unfortunate folks who, in spite of their best efforts at socializing, never quite manage to break the ice. It probably doesn't matter much to them but I feel sorry every time I see them.
And I’ve seen quite a few going out of their way, just to be seen in the company of certain others. They end up trying to be exactly the opposite of what they are. Irritating!

Finally, there's been so much buzz about consulting as a career, that I couldn't resist taking a dig at it. So here goes -

"A consultant died and, as luck would have it, went to heaven. There were millions of people ahead of him in line to see St. Peter. To the consultant's surprise, St. Peter rose from the heaps of files and papers at his desk by the Gates, strolled briskly down the long line to where the consultant stood, and greeted him warmly. He walked the consultant to the front of the line and ushered him into a comfortable chair by his desk. St. Peter sat on the other side and stared at the consultant wonderingly.After a moment, the consultant said, "I have to say I appreciate all this attention, but what makes me so special?"St. Peter replied, "I'm simply amazed by your apparent good health. I've added up all the hours for which you billed your clients, and by my calculations you're 214 years old!"

Some snaps with my new mobile!

2007-04-23T04:30:00.000+05:30

Maha Rudra Homam

First day of (dis)orientation week at ISB

Welcome dinner

The crazy rush for free advise

Team building exercises (yeah...right!)

Too many late-night parties can do this to people

Student Village (hostel sounds so banal!)

Movies, movies and more movies!

2007-04-23T04:06:00.000+05:30

During the couple of months before shifting to Hyderabad, I became so lazy that I drove only about a 1000 km. That’s something, taking into account the fact that I drove 50000 km over the past 22 months. I’ve noticed that the more time I have to kill, the less I get accomplished. I did watch quite a few movies – the best form of escapism!

Match Point – This Woody Allen movie left a lasting impression. It's a gripping tale of a tennis coach, who hits it off with a wealthy female student and marries her. Just when he's beginning to enjoy the trappings of high society, he gets romantically involved with his bro-in-law's girlfriend. The affair threatens to ruin his new life he has now come to enjoy, and leaves him with some hard choices to make. The movie is all about how a single incident can change a person’s fortune – for good or bad. The master director is at his manipulative best - well, towards the end, I found myself rooting for the bad guy.

Good night and good luck – It’s a b/w movie, which depicts a TV journalist’s crusade against McCarthyism. The highlight of the movie is the usage of actual historical footage of McCarthy. Some critics, who were unaware of this complained that the “actor” playing McCarthy had gone overboard with his histrionics.

Memoirs of a geisha – I loved this movie for its cinematography. The story was very interesting but the movie was not powerful enough. The novel probably is. I’m yet to read it though.

Snatch – A movie set in London, about a bunch of thugs, a boxer, a dog and a diamond. Hilarious!

Cars – A really good animated movie after quite sometime. One thing which really struck me about the animation was that the cars’ windshields (instead of the usual headlights) were replaced with eyes. This made all the vehicles quite endearing. Ka-chow!!

Happy feet – I still cannot figure out if I actually liked the movie or if I was won over by the experience of watching it on big screen, in a really good cinema hall.

Veyil – Not the usual Tamil movie. The screenplay could’ve been tighter but otherwise it was good, especially the parts which resembled “Cinema Paradiso”. I loved the song “Veyilodu Vilayaadi”. The lyrics were spot on!

Pan’s Labyrinth – I picked it up because somebody told me it was a fantasy. I was in the mood for something like LOTR, but it turned out to be something else altogether. The movie is a fairytale meant strictly for adults. It’s about a little girl who tries to escape the war torn world she lives in, to a kingdom where she would be princess. Her wish is granted finally, but in a tragic sort of way.

Amores peros – I watched this because I heard this is the movie that inspired Mani to make Aaytha Ezhuthu (Yuva). I personally consider Aaytha Ezhuthu to be one of his better movies. There was nothing similar between the two, except for the fact that three parallel tracks are connected together by one common scene. The Mexican movie is way darker and more powerful than the Tamil one.

What would you do?

2006-11-14T22:49:00.000+05:30

Rectal cancer is quite common in India. It is a notorious killer. The exact causes are unknown, but the disease appears to be caused by both inherited and lifestyle factors. Both men and women above 50 are at equal risk of developing rectal cancer.
Patients with rectal cancer can resume normal life, if the cancer is surgically removed and the intestine is reconstructed. But this is possible only if the cancer is detected in its early stages, when it is still operable. Unfortunately in India, more often than not, patients turn up when it's already too late. In such cases, it doesn't mean death; it means something worse. In patients with inoperable cancers, a major part of the large intestine is removed along with the rectum and the anus. This means the patient will no longer have control over passing his stools. His intestine is attached to an external Colostomy bag all the time, (as shown in the pic) which collects the faecal matter. This bag has to be changed everyday. The other option in such cases, is death, which is usually slow and painful. Needless to say, living with a bag of faecal matter on your abdomen can be mentally stressful and traumatic. Even your loved ones will start avoiding you altogether. I know this because I've seen it happen in my family. And it's also proven statistically.

So - if somebody you knew were faced with such options, what would your advise be? What would you do?

I told ya!

2006-10-16T14:02:00.000+05:30

http://in.rediff.com/money/2006/oct/16career.htm

Too lazy

2006-10-04T19:52:00.000+05:30

I'm just using work as an excuse to avoid completing my next post..enjoy these Calvinisms till then.

I like maxims that don't encourage behavior modification.

Reality continues to ruin my life.

Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless.

A little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of wills and add drama to an otherwise dull day.

It's psychosomatic. You need a lobotomy. I'll get a saw.

I understand my tests are popular reading in the teachers' lounge.

Life's disappointments are harder to take when you don't know any swear words.

Where do we keep all our chainsaws, Mom?

That's the difference between me and the rest of the world! Happiness isn't good enough for me! I demand euphoria!

In my opinion, we don't devote nearly enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks.

You know, Hobbes, some days even my lucky rocketship underpants don't help.

Its no use! Everybody gets good enemies except me.

What's the point of wearing your favorite rocketship underpants if nobody ever asks to see 'em?

As a math atheist, I should be excused from this.

This one's tricky. You have to use imaginary numbers, like eleventeen ...

I'm learning real skills that I can apply throughout the rest of my life ... Procrastinating and rationalizing.

I have a hammer! I can put things together! I can knock things apart! I can alter my environment at will and make an incredible din all the while! Ah, it's great to be male!

I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information

C: "Do you believe in the devil? You know, a supreme evil being dedicated to the temptation, corruption, and destruction of man?"
H: "I'm not sure that man needs the help."

A dream (contd.)

2006-07-08T01:06:00.000+05:30

It had started raining. The constant splash of rainwater on the windscreen was something he loved to watch. He loved driving during rains. He suddenly had this temptation to start the car and drive away - from everybody; all questions; all problems; all bugging issues. He wanted to drive till he was too tired to think. In the past, he had always resorted to these drives when the going had got tough. He had felt it helped him clear his mind. Now he realized that he had only been running away - escapism. This time he had been halted forcibly. He realized that he had some questions to answer, some decisions to make.

He forced his thoughts back to the question he was supposed to answer. Was he really afraid that he might never find a soul mate? Was he really delaying something that was not supposed to be delayed? Was this the issue that had been bugging him? He realized that he had remained silent for quite sometime now.

Him (to the Girl): Yes. You are right. I am afraid.
K: Why?
Him: I don’t know.
M: So this is what has been bugging you?
Him: I’ve just been running away from taking some decisions. That’s what has been bugging me.
S: What decisions?
Him: I believe that a man has but one destiny – the one he makes for himself. I’m comfortable in life now. No big responsibilities, no commitments. Life is smooth. But I’m pretty sure this is not what I’m supposed to do for the rest of my life. Problem is - I’ve not done anything to find out. This carefree life is getting monotonous. I’ve got to move ahead. I have to decide where and how.
S: So what’s your decision going to be?
Him(chuckles): Dear, If it were so simple, I would have made it long time back.
K(irritated): You don’t understand. You have to decide now. There isn’t much time. We are losing you.
Him(stunned): WHAT?
S (smiling, to K): Well..somebody had to break the news to him. (To Him) You have to decide now. You won’t get a chance later.
M: Now you know what I meant, when I said, “You might get a chance.”

He became silent again. But this time, it was due to shock. Was this the end? He didn’t like it one bit. Slowly, he recovered from the shock. Hell no! This was not the end. The end would be on his terms, to his liking.

Him: I think I know what I need to do. And I’m going to do it.
M: And what will that be?
Him: I don’t think I will reveal that now.
S: Fair enough. (To the others) I think our work here is done.
Him: But how come YOU folks turned up? Why not my parents or my brother?
K: Well, you were the one who chose us.

With that S, K and M vanished. He found himself alone with the girl. He kept staring into her eyes. He usually felt uneasy making eye contact with strangers. Not with this girl.

Him: I don’t even know you. How could I have chosen you? And yeah - Aren’t you supposed to vanish too?
Girl(smiling): I’m still here – which means my work isn’t done yet. You know me. Rather, you will know me. We would have met if you had already said yes to marriage. I don’t know what your decision is, but now I’m pretty sure we’ll meet.
Him: And when is that? I think you know that.

She nodded but didn’t answer, just a smile.

Him: Ok. At least tell me your name.
Girl (with a mischievous grin): Can’t do that. Can you remember my face?

He was alone now. Suddenly, he felt severe pain in his neck and lower back. It had been an accident after all; a pretty bad one too. He realized that the steering wheel was inches away from his chest. He then noticed that the car had been rear-ended pretty badly. He felt dizzy again. Things began to blur. But now, he felt a sense of peace and calm. He knew he was going to be fine. He blacked out.

A dream (?)

2006-05-24T11:04:00.000+05:30

9am. He was already on his way. He was driving fast, but the drive had not been pleasant. He was finding it hard to concentrate. This was unusual. His concentration was usually at its peak when he was driving fast. Something was bugging him. He tried to figure out hat it was. Various incidents from the recent past came to his mind – the business-plan presentation that hadn’t gone too well a few days back; the conversation he had had with his parents about the marriage proposal; the dirty politics at his workplace; the call he had received from his best friend K, who had come to India on a flying visit; and a few more incidents. But he wasn’t convinced. He could not figure out what was distracting him. That frustrated him even more. He tried driving faster, hoping it would clear his mind. It didn’t help.

It was a two-lane road. The traffic was light. A few hundred feet ahead, he saw a cowherd on the right side of the road. They looked like they were about to cross the road. He judged that he could pass safely and decided not to slow down. But then he noticed a black santro coming from the opposite direction. It was coming pretty fast towards the cows. He anticipated that the santro would either have to brake really hard to avoid smashing into the cowherd, or it would have to swerve sharply onto his lane. It did not brake. It swerved. He slammed hard on the brakes. Simultaneously, the santro violently swerved back onto its lane. It safely made the pass, but just so. He was just catching his breath, when he noticed that something red was rapidly filling up his rear view mirror. It was a bus and it showed no signs of slowing down. He rapidly tried to engage gears and move forward but it was too late. He didn't even have time to brace himself. He felt a rude jolt. He felt thankful for his seat-belt. He blacked out.

He was still in his car when he came about. Surprisingly, he did not feel any pain. He slowly turned around to assess the damage to the car. No visible damage to the car either. But he found three women sitting on the backseat. At first, their faces seemed bit blurred to him, but gradually his vision cleared. He recognized K and M. The third female - he had not seen before. Then he noticed S sitting beside him, in the front. He kept staring at them, too surprised to speak.

S broke the silence.

S - So, did you finally figure out what was bugging you?
K – Well, we wouldn’t be here if he had.
Him – Nope. I didn’t figure it out.
S (smirking) – Probably it was the 33 grand you spent on a TAG.
Him – Dei, it was a TAG! Grow up. Your reaction did baffle me though. And what was that speech about “people suffering without food” all of a sudden? You sounded real corny.
M – Was it our chat? Was that bothering you?
K – What chat?
Him (smiling) – (To K) sorry that’s confidential. (To M) that was weeks ago. Well, it did bother me the next day. I shouldn’t have chatted with you in the first place. I was half drunk and sleepy. I didn’t know what I was doing. But no, that wasn’t bugging me today.
K – I think I know. It was my call wasn’t it? I ended the conversation abruptly.
Him – You did? No, that wasn’t it. But I did feel that you didn’t like it when I mentioned the pact. (Smiles)
M – Ahem…now what pact are we talking about?
K - Confidential info.
S – Hey ladies, easy. Looks as if the poor guy is being interrogated here.
K (to S) – Hey, you started it.
Him – TIME OUT!! Why is this so important now? Why are you guys here? Why are you so interested in what’s bugging me?
K – That’s what this is all about, isn’t it?
M – Yeah, you need to find out. It might give you a chance.
Him – What chance?
S (irritated) – Never mind. Tell me something - did your parents discuss anything important with you when you were in chennai last week?
Him – How did you know I was in Chennai last week?
S – No time for explanations. Tell me.
Him (hesitantly) – Nothing important. There was this discussion about a marriage proposal though. But that discussion happens quite often nowadays. Nothing important about it.
S - Probably not to you. So what was this proposal all about?
Him - Seems my aunt had told my mom about an "interesting" allaince. Good family, nice girl, about to complete engineering. And it seems that the girl’s family was impressed with my “profile”.
K – So what did your mom say?
Him (smiling)– Well, she requested my aunt to inform them that they had to wait for sometime - till I decided on whether to continue working or try for an MBA.
M (puzzled) – Why did she say that?
Him (muttering)– Don’t know. She probably didn’t want to reject the proposal outright. (Chuckling) or she’s probably afraid that by the time I decide to get married, there won’t be any suitable girl around.
K – Well, are you?
Him - Am i what?
K - Are you also afraid that there might be nobody around for you?

It was only then, that the girl spoke for the first time.

Girl – Yes, he is. Aren’t you?

He didn’t reply. He remained silent.

(To be continued)

Do you believe in miracles?

2006-05-03T21:24:00.000+05:30

April 14 - Vishu..Also Good Friday. My colleague had invited me to his house for a vegetarian lunch, specially perpared for me. I was on the way, when i came across this strange sight.

I could not resist stopping my car and taking these snaps. I learnt that every year, Mr.Nixon here (in red), undertakes a journey similar to the one Mr.Jesus was forced to go on, before his crucification. Mr.Nixon walks more than 60km, bearing a cross that weighs close to 70kg, with a real crown of thorns adorning his head. He sets out from Cochin towards Malayatoor, a famous pilgrimage spot among local Christians. This shrine is situated on top of a hillock, which can only be reached after a pretty steep climb.
The reason? Few years back, Mr.Nixon was suffering from some supposedly incurable and debilitating brain disease. He made a deal with god and agreed to undertake this strenuous journey every year, in return for complete cure. Lo and behold! The man was cured! The doctors had no explanation for this sudden cure.
Ever since, Nixon's kept his part of the deal - year after year.

Two beautiful ladies

2006-05-03T21:18:00.000+05:30

My colleagues' daughters - Manasa and Niranjana.

The high jumper

2006-04-09T21:44:00.000+05:30

There are various techniques in high jumping. The toughest and the most primitive one is the scissors technique. Then there is the straddle or belly role, with the jumper’s chest facing the bar. Of course, professional jumpers all over the world today employ the Fosbury flop, where they clear the bar with their backs towards it. But this method is only safe when inflatable-landing areas are available.

Well...I used to be a proponent of the straddle technique. Yes - people refuse to believe me now, but back then I used to be an active participant in all track and field events. I won the high jumping contest two years in a row. I even made it to the finals of district level inter-school competition. Unfortunately, I never took it seriously.

Anyway, I think I was in the eighth grade when this happened. The next day, a district level high jumping competition was scheduled to happen. I had been avoiding practice all week. So I was forced to practice after school, with nobody but the PT master to give me company. The session wasn’t going too well. I was repeatedly failing to clear even regular heights. Until I saw her. She was sitting on the cement benches, under the tree near the school temple. She was a studious girl. She was the darling of almost all the teachers. She was beautiful. She was my first crush.

So here she was, probably waiting for somebody to come and pick her up. She wasn't usually this late. She was reading something. Could have been a textbook. I could not make out if she was observing me practice. But I assumed she was. Immediately, as if on cue, my performance started improving. The PT repeatedly kept raising the bar and I kept clearing it within 3 attempts.

After sometime, the master wanted to call it a day. But my audience was still very much present – all alone. Nobody had arrived to pick her up yet. So I asked the PT to proceed and decided to continue practicing all by myself.

A school senior had recently set a school high jumping record of 1.43m. I think the world record still stands at 2.43m, set by Javier Sotomayer in 1989. I decided to have a go at the school record. I failed in my first two attempts. Then, I started working up the crowd around me, as I had often watched those guys at Olympics do before their jumps. Only, in my case, the crowd was imaginary. I approached the bar with the perfect run-up, took the perfect leap and cleared it. I landed in the sand with a thud. I could hear my imaginary audience applauding me. I got to my feet and looked towards the cement benches, half expecting her to be on her feet and wildly applauding my record-breaking attempt. She wasn’t there. To say that I was disappointed would be a big understatement.

The next day, I easily qualified for the district level inter-school finals. I think I came fourth in the finals. My PT thought it was a creditable achievement, especially for someone who had practiced only a couple of hours the previous day.

Anyway, I never got to find out if she saw my record-breaking jump. I never had the courage to ask her about that evening. I never told her that I had a crush on her. And yeah..i think I never got over that crush. As the song goes – first love(crush?) never dies. :-)

Racing at midnight

2006-01-24T01:14:00.000+05:30

January 22, 1215am
Place – Trivandrum

I am screaming at the hotel receptionist, “It is impossible for me to sleep with all this construction work going on at this hour. I did not pay 1500 bucks to stay awake all night.”
Now, folks in hospitality business are supposed to be hospitable. They usually don’t lose their cool and try really hard to keep their guests happy. Unfortunately for me, this guy is different. All he says is, “Sir, the banging will last one hour more.” This is the last straw. I decide that I would rather drive back to Cochin than put up with this ruckus.
After settling the bill (and giving the hotel management a piece of my mind) I hit the road. It is half an hour past midnight. I feel as if I have just proved a point. But as usual, the voice at the back of my head says, " You will regret this dumbo." i start driving, hoping to prove it wrong.

As I start, a scene from “The Blues Brothers” comes to my mind.

Elwood: It's a 106 miles to Chicago. We got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark and we're wearing sunglasses.
Jake: Hit it!

Encouraging, but not exactly the same scenario. I’m alone. I’m feeling sleepy cos I’ve just been rudely woken out of a deep slumber. And I’m pissed off.
The first 60kms till Kollam pass off smoothly. Suddenly I find myself dozing off and I snap back just in time to avoid smashing head-on with a truck. I am seriously thinking of stopping and spending the night in the car, when another Alto zooms past me as if I am stationary, when I’m actually doing close to a 100 clicks.
As usual, I feel hurt. I usually respect more powerful cars and avoid taking them on when they pass me. But I get slightly irritated when the M800s, Altos, Santros and Indicas do it to me. Tonight, i'm furious. I start pursuing the Alto. I’m fully awake now. My velocity climbs steadily as I close the gap. I touch 140km by the time I’m within striking distance. He sees me – doesn’t want me to have it easy. The machines are the equally matched. It boils down to the men and both of us refuse to be bogged down, with each repeatedly passing the other. The game continues till Alleppey when coincidentally, both of us decide to stop at the same place for a break. I realise that the past 80 km have been covered in 65 minutes.
I get out to order a “chaayaa” and light up a Kings. He does the same. I see that he’s also traveling alone. We make eye contact. We size up each other. Finally, he acknowledges my driving with a nod of his head towards my car. I return the compliment. No words are spoken.
After the break, both return to our cars. I wish for the game to continue as Cochin is still 50km away. But I realize that the pulsating game has just ended in a draw. It would be an insult to continue afer knowing the result.
It is 330am when I reach home and hit the sack.
I feel good..On the road, nothing is more satisfying than racing a stranger who is willing to take the challenge.

a favorite snap

2005-11-24T22:12:00.000+05:30

From my archives..

2005-10-31T09:19:00.000+05:30

10th Grade

As I sat there in English class,
I stared at the girl next to me.
She was my so called 'best friend'.
I stared at her long
and wished she was mine.
But she didn't notice me like that,
and I knew it. After class,
she walked up to me and asked me for
the notes she had missed the day before.
I handed them to her.
She said 'thanks' and gave me a kiss on the cheek.
I wanted to tell her, I wanted her to know
that I didn't want to be just friends.
I love her but I'm just too shy,
and I don't know why.

11th grade

The phone rang. On the other end,
it was her. She was in tears,
mumbling on and on about how her
love had broken her heart.
She asked me to come over because
she didn't want to be alone, So I did.
As I sat next to her on the sofa,
I stared at her soft eyes, wishing she was mine.
After 2 hours, one Drew Barrymore movie,
and three bags of chips, I decided to go home.
She looked at me, said 'thanks' and gave me a kiss on
the cheek..
I wanted to tell her, I wanted her to know that
I didn't want to be just friends.
I love her but I'm just too shy,
and I don't know why.

2nd year College

One fine day she walked to me.
"My date is sick" she said, "he's not gonna go"
well,
I didn't have a date, and in our 1st year,
we made a promise that if neither of us had a date,
we would go together just as 'best friends'.
So we did. That night, after everything was over,
I was standing at her front door step.
I stared at her as She smiled at me
and stared at me with her crystal eyes.
Then she said- "I had the best time, thanks!"
and gave me a kiss on the cheek.
I wanted to tell her, I wanted her to know
that I didn't want to be just friends.
I love her but I'm just too shy,
and I don't know why.

Graduation

A day passed, then a week, then a month.
Before I could blink, it was graduation day.
I watched as she floated like an angel
up on stage to get her diploma.
I wanted her to be mine-but
she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it.
Before everyone went home,
she came to me in her smock and hat,
and cried as I hugged her.
Then she lifted her head from my shoulder
and said- 'you're my best friend, thanks' and
gave me a kiss on the cheek.
I wanted to tell her, I wanted her to know
that I didn't want to be just friends.
I love her but I'm just too shy,
and I don't know why.

Marriage

My best friend is getting married now.
Getting married to another man.
I wanted her to be mine,
but she didn't see me like that,
and I knew it.
But before she drove away,
she came to me and said 'you came!'.
She said 'thanks' and kissed me on the cheek.
I wanted to tell her, I wanted her to know
I didn't want to be just friends.
I love her but I'm just too shy,
and I don't know why.

Death

Years passed, I looked down at lifeless form
of a girl who used to be my 'best friend'.
At the service, they read a diary entry
she had wrote in her high school years.
This is what it read:
"I stare at him wishing he was mine;
but he doesn't notice me like that,
and I know it. I want to tell him,
I want him to know that
I don't want to be just friends,
I love him but I'm just too shy,
and I don't know why.
I wish he would tell me he loved me!"

I thought to my self - 'I wish I had...'
and I cried.

Beyond the beginning

2005-10-17T00:44:00.000+05:30

The beginning of a relationship is always a beautiful experience. Meeting someone, hitting it off with that person, getting to know him/her, likes, dislikes, trying to meet everyday, expecting calls, waiting anxiously, making compromises, trying hard for the other’s approval, lots of white lies, philosophical ramblings, silent conversations, sweet nothings, a little bit of flirting, moments of intimacy. Well, the list is endless.

Rarely does this beginning last forever. Occasionally, it stretches for longer than usual. But mostly, it fades out for various reasons. We get to know each other too well. Things start becoming predictable. Some are comfortable with this predictability. These are the ones who take their relationships beyond the fade.
But for some, this predictability means monotony. They start feeling stifled in that relationship. The intimacy goes missing. Silences are no longer comfortably shared. Opinions become brutally frank. Eventually, an excuse is found to end it all. Mostly, the excuse turns out to be another person.
Some don’t understand the fade out. They do feel uneasy, but they don’t necessarily end the relationship. They still persist, repeatedly trying to discover that elusive magic of the beginning, often getting lost in nostalgic thoughts and wishing for a return to those golden days.

I’ve experienced the beginning a few times. Some were painfully short, some lasted longer. But all of them were good as long as they lasted. I’ve never ventured beyond the beginning though. Don’t know why.
I keep thinking – why not keep doing this? Why go beyond the beginning at all? Why lose the magic?
But deep down, I know I will go beyond the beginning one day. And I will do it just once.

Nothing specific

2005-09-30T11:34:00.000+05:30

My dealer, Viju Vijayan, often says that the best part about living in kerala is that there’s no dearth of tourist spots. One just needs to deviate a little and take “the road less traveled”. It is hard to disagree with him.
After shifting to Cochin, I decided that I had to experience as much of god’s own country, as possible, before moving on. 7 months later, I’m pretty much on track and my colleagues and dealers have given me good company. But what amazes me the most, is that all these guys - native keralites - had never been to any of the places, which we had visited after my arrival. They even raised a toast to me for initiating such trips. :-)

Local body elections just got over in Kerala. The Left Democratic Front (LDF), led by CPI-M registered a landslide victory. The incumbent United DF, led by Congress, received a comprehensive drubbing. There’s talk that this may be a pointer to the electoral mood during the assembly elections, which are due in May06. I am told that this is the usual cycle- Congress and CPI-M get drubbed alternately every five years…quite similar to the DMK-ADMK story in Tamilinadu.

Recently, I officially became a LAKHpati. My bank balance just about managed to cross the six-figure mark for the first time. I’ve not celebrated it yet. Planning to splurge it big time, on vacation, in December. Will probably go to Maldives or Mauritius. :-)
I’ve seen that when I spend money on what I want, I get back more of it. But when I don’t spend and resort to saving, I lose it on something totally useless to me.
That’s why, I don’t believe in saving money for the future.

Helpless

2005-09-26T12:43:00.000+05:30

You know… Sometimes in life, some things happen that make us feel utterly helpless. I was there today.
My parents are on a pilgrimage tour of the Himalayas. They’ve been enjoying and regularly updating me (thanks to BSNL’s amazing coverage). But they hadn’t called in the past 2 days. And they weren’t reachable either. That was really bugging me.
And here I was in Cochin, working a Sunday, just about to start a workshop for some so-called budding surgeons, when I received a call from my brother. Seems my parents were stuck in Badrinath due to some landslide on the downhill route. I frantically call them and I’m finally able to connect. Seems it’s freezing there. No power. No hot water. Appa being appa, is coping up pretty well. Amma isn’t. Even as she’s telling me not to worry, she starts stuttering due to the cold. She’s shivering and her voice sounds awful.
Just then, a doctor walks up to me and chides me for taking calls. It takes a lot of restraint to give him a polite reply. I feel like killing him, but sanity prevails. Helpless…that’s how I felt.

Bad company

2005-09-23T11:02:00.000+05:30

was in chennai yesterday..followed up a lot pending issues at the HQ. visiting HQ is always a good break from routine..the only problem is that i end up smoking a lot more than usual..talk about bad company!
reached cochin at 630am. cudn't get much sleep on the train, because of this guy who kept snoring. he was so loud that i even reached out and poked him a couple times..that trick usually works with my dad..but this guy just wouldn't stop. when we finally arrived at cochin, i asked him to go and see a doctor about his snoring...and then i walked out..think he was shellshocked..
now it's just noon and i already feel like a zombie.